Always Come Back

There's always something to do in your own backyard, grab a Glass of Rose. I'll be here


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Little A and I spent a few days visiting my mom and dad while my husband was also out of town promoting and celebrating his short film.

I couldn’t believe how much better my mom was doing.  She’s not 100% yet but compared to a month ago there is a huge difference, I was so relieved  and proud of her progress.

Over the weekend we did regular everyday things.  It was like winning the lottery.  We enjoyed a visit to the park, watching Little A run across a field with a kite dancing behind her.  My mom tired easily but was happy to simply watch Little A play tag with her new found friends in the playground. I was happy to be sitting beside my mom laughing and chatting on a bench in the sunshine.  Little A was happy just to be near her Nana, yelling at her to “Watch this Nana” as she climbed, jumped and ran about.

We also went to our favourite place (Hello Toast) for a latte and a treat. There happened to be a street performer across the street playing and as I sat there listening to him I became absolutely overwhelmed with gratitude for all that was good at that exact moment in my life.  My mom sat down with the drinks and I jumped out of my seat, gave her a huge hug and said ” Thank you mom, for fighting so hard to get healthy” holding back tears.

Unfortunately during her dialysis run that weekend they took off too much water and warned her she may feel ill as a result over the next few days.  The last day of our visit as predicted Nana became ill.  She spent the morning in bed and moved to the couch to spend a bit time with us before we had to drive back home.

Little A climbed up on the couch to cuddle with her Nana, understanding that Nana wasn’t feeling well. Cuddles always make Nana feel better.

Cuddling with Nana

Cuddling with Nana

It was during her cuddling that Little A noticed the dialysis catheter and asked Nana what it was.  My mom said, ” Well that is where they give me medicine to make my blood cleaner”.

Little A thought for a minute then climbed off the couch.  My mom and I watched her silently wondering what she was up to.  She went over to her Doctors kit and said ,”I need one too.”  She sifted thru her play doctors bag and found what looked the most like Nana’s catheter to her.  She put it in her shirt  adjusting it so that it was sticking out a bit and would stay in while she walked around -just like her Nana.

“Look Nana, I can have clean blood too.” she said walking back and forth between us ever so proud.

I need one too

I need one too

Wowed us with her sensitivity

Wowed us with her sensitivity

She’s wowed all of us.

During our last visit when my mom was in the hospital and heavily sedated Little A walked into her room and gently patted her hand saying “It’s ok Nana, don’t worry , everything will be Ok.  Don’t Worry”.  Guess we should have listened closer to my little 3 year old.

 Honestly – how were we so blessed to have little A in our life.

Her innocence to be so what we need.

The healing power of little ones is special.

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4 Comments

Timid to write

I’ve been away for a while.  My mom’s been so sick.  My spare moments that were for this blogging escape were filled with so much fear,  so much worry, and being tired from their powerful grip.

I saw my mom at her weakest, my dad at his strongest and most vulnerable, and I was unsure where I was to be – up there, down her with my own family, at work, sitting on a log on the beach letting the wind whip my tear away.  Emotionally I’ve been all over the place too.  Sorry husband.

I have been lost, and scared.- Beyond scared I don’t even have a word for what I was. I went to bed early rather than face a quiet evening watching aimless tv or trying to talk about things that were too frightening to talk about. Those “quiet” evenings weren’t quiet in my brain.    I didn’t/couldn’t open my computer at home for several weeks.  It all seemed fake and forced.

I’m afraid to say it too loudly but my mom has had a good week.  Some weight is lifting off everyone’s shoulders but I’m nervous to  write to look at other parts of my life again.

family is my world

family is my world