Always Come Back

There's always something to do in your own backyard, grab a Glass of Rose. I'll be here

Again

11 Comments

The post I never wanted to write about.

My mom has cancer…

Again…

This is the 5th time she is being forced to face this crazed opponent in an engagement.

My mom’s first comment to me after I heard the news from my brother and dad was

“Here we go again”

No one should think Cancer is routine.  When its come back time and time again, it is how you deal with it.  But still.

My stomach drops. The underlying tone of her statement is so loaded with mixed emotions.  How is that even fair that my mom must face this disease for a fifth time?  Wasn’t cervical, breast, colon and kidney enough! It has to have another go at her other kidney – seriously cancer – GFYS! Give me the burden; she doesn’t deserve it.

While I’d give anything to take this tumor from my mom I can’t.  I feel powerless, I am scared, I am mad, I am things I can’t find words for.  The tears start well up, I crush my eyes closed, Breathe in, Breathe out.  I take one more big inhale and exhale,  look up to the sky and think – We are never powerless, our courage comes from the depth of our hearts, our brains, our stomach, our nerves – We dig deep.

She is an All Star Champion.   Each time she’s stepped into the octagon previously she submitted Cancer and got the tap out.  She wears several scars as badges and is missing a few body parts due to her matches in her cancer octagon.  But She is a survivor!  That is her power.

I am her cornerman. This is my power.

I will give her that little fighters stool in the corner to sit down on, I will cool her back with ice packs and hold her up when she needs it. I’ll whisper words of empowerment, health and strength, talk about future adventures and family fun to come.  I will cry, scream, and beg if I have to.

My mom is a fighter; stronger than any woman I have met or will ever meet.  She will do the only thing you can do – look that crappy disease head on and force it into submission. She holds the power.

My Mom - Love you lots

My Mom – Love you lots

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Author: alwayscomeback

Mom of one daughter, always looking for activities and things to do in Vancouver with my family. Check out F.A.B on facebook too

11 thoughts on “Again

  1. Oh honey, that just sucks. Be strong, hang in there, you will all need it. And no, taking it on instead of her is not the way to go, you have a little one and she needs you too. Hoping and wishing it all goes well for your Mum and the rest of your family 😦

  2. We all love her and will be holding her up with the strength of our thoughts right along with you Jenn! Love, Laura, Matt and Otis!

  3. Yes Jenn your Mom is an amazing woman. Strong and powerful are just 2 things that make her so special and the 2 things she needs to tap in to now. She and all of you are in my thoughts and prayers. Lots of love, Lid

  4. You’re right, it is a hard read, but hopeful too, carrying the seeds of empowerment as well as acknowledgement of the fact that life is just hard and unfair sometimes. I wish all of you the strength to carry you through this time. May your mom’s fight be won quick and easy this time; may her remarkable recovery astonish everyone!

  5. I can’t imagine the shock of this news. I don’t know how you found the words to write this post. : but it is within your words all can see what a courageous and strong Mom you have. It is love that feeds her strength and determination. It’s clear that there is a lot of love through her family and friends to keep her strong. There is so much I want to say, but the words won’t come to me.
    I will say a million prayers for your Mom, and for all of you who will once again be her anchor. Even though time and miles have kept us apart, I think of you often and love you all. I send to you, all of my love, hope, determination, strength and power . Love Angel

  6. Oh, Jenn. I feel you so much and want you to know that you are the reason that your mom has not given up and continues to fight this battle. I lost my mom to this horrific disease 11 years ago and I often wonder why she was taken from us so early, especially after she fought so bloody hard to fight it. Why did she not get to meet my husband and my daughter?? There are no satisfying answers to these questions but I would say that your mom is teaching us all about the importance of living in the present moment. Your mom’s fight will help Rory someday, when she is faced with a challenging situation and feels like she wants to give up. Thank you for sharing this news with me and know that we all are praying for her and you.

  7. Jen, we’ve had this conversation, cancer GFYS no kidding!!! I’m thinking of you a lot and sending you and your family loads of positive energy, love and hugs. Big hug to your mom when you’ll see her. xox

  8. Your words scream frustration, sadness and so much admiration for your mother. We feel your pain and are so sorry for it. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. Stay strong!

  9. Words cannot express how sorry I am that your Mum has to go through this as well as you and your family. But it seems that no matter how dire the situation, it is always better to say something rather than nothing at all. I know that there is no magic “stay strong” pep talk I can give you and no words that could bring about a magical return to normality for you, but know that I am here for you and your family should you need anything at all, even just a quick call, coffee, playdate or some frozen meals to make your day easier when you need it. Know you are not alone and that you are loved. xoxoxo

  10. Nana is a very strong woman and she will take this battle on, win it and move forward. She has some serious fighting gloves on and is ready for anything, I know that. We are all here to help and support in any way we can whether it be physically, mentally or emotionally. We’re all in her corner!

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