The post I never wanted to write about.
My mom has cancer…
This is the 5th time she is being forced to face this crazed opponent in an engagement.
My mom’s first comment to me after I heard the news from my brother and dad was
“Here we go again”
No one should think Cancer is routine. When its come back time and time again, it is how you deal with it. But still.
My stomach drops. The underlying tone of her statement is so loaded with mixed emotions. How is that even fair that my mom must face this disease for a fifth time? Wasn’t cervical, breast, colon and kidney enough! It has to have another go at her other kidney – seriously cancer – GFYS! Give me the burden; she doesn’t deserve it.
While I’d give anything to take this tumor from my mom I can’t. I feel powerless, I am scared, I am mad, I am things I can’t find words for. The tears start well up, I crush my eyes closed, Breathe in, Breathe out. I take one more big inhale and exhale, look up to the sky and think – We are never powerless, our courage comes from the depth of our hearts, our brains, our stomach, our nerves – We dig deep.
She is an All Star Champion. Each time she’s stepped into the octagon previously she submitted Cancer and got the tap out. She wears several scars as badges and is missing a few body parts due to her matches in her cancer octagon. But She is a survivor! That is her power.
I am her cornerman. This is my power.
I will give her that little fighters stool in the corner to sit down on, I will cool her back with ice packs and hold her up when she needs it. I’ll whisper words of empowerment, health and strength, talk about future adventures and family fun to come. I will cry, scream, and beg if I have to.
My mom is a fighter; stronger than any woman I have met or will ever meet. She will do the only thing you can do – look that crappy disease head on and force it into submission. She holds the power.