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Families Against Boredom (F.A.B), There's always something to do in your own backyard, grab a Boozy Latte, I'll be here

Please don’t pee on my head

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I planned going to the beach with my daughter all week. I was more excited then she was.

I had this idealistic picture in my head – both of us splashing in the ocean waves, building sandcastles, collecting shells, throwing rocks and sharing an ice cream cone to cool off…

“dream on …dream away”. Yes I just quoted a Color Me Bad song.

Here’s the reality of my time at the beach

I try to unload my two bags and pay for parking while watching her creep closer to the parked cars “stay close don’t step off the grass mommy is paying for parking ” Small panic but she listens.

Get to the edge of the beach-slop on loads of sunscreen – thankfully this goes well cause she gets to smear some on my face and squish my cheeks.

Jump into the sad where she plops down to take her shoes off. Two things to note – sand and fresh sunscreen creates a great shake’n bake coating. And the sand is hot. Two steps in she is crying cause she wants her shoes back on.

Fast forward 15 minutes (shoes back on) Yeah we are at the water. We dig, make ponds and holes and find seashells Back to my dream-like morning at the beach again. Aahhhhhh.

A stop at the playground is good after we get rid of the soggy diaper and she runs around in her shorts sans diaper.

Time to go home for lunch and a nap. Cue the metaphoric dark cloud shooting across the blue sky from out of nowhere and perching itself above us. Ha ha it laughs. She’s hungry but won’t eat the berries or cheese I brought nor will she drink the water (with ice) I packed with love.

I tell her we have to walk – that way (no mention of the car)

“Mommy I go on your shoulders”. She wines. Oh dear god. We’ve started casually potty training but this request rates as high risk and could fair to be rather embarrassing.

I’ve also never hoisted her up or down on my own. But it is the quickest way to get from a to b.

Ok hunny. But remember you DO NOT PEE ON ME! DO NOT PEE ON MY HEAD!

I basically treat her like a kettle bell and do a revised Turkish getup of sorts and she’s on my shoulders. I’m that mom – a nag of sand toys on one shoulder diaper bag on the other, toddler on my shoulders with a slight glint of fear in my eyes.

Please don’t pee on me my inner and sometimes outer voice begs. I make it from the swings to the concession stand wondering if the sweat running down my back is just that or if at any second a trail of pee will join the path thru the layer of sunscreen.

“Mommy I walk now.” Haha take that dark cloud -be gone. No peeing on me!!! Well for today that is.

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Author: alwayscomeback

Mom of one daughter, always looking for activities and things to do in Vancouver with my family. Check out F.A.B on facebook too

6 thoughts on “Please don’t pee on my head

  1. Hahaha! Love it. Toddlers are simultaneously the best and the worst.

  2. Great post! Much mental noting of your experience for future reference…..if I can muster that much with “Mommy Brain” and an almost eight month old of course!

  3. Sounds like a perfect day at the beach :-)

  4. This was too funny!! I’m sure not at the time for you, but now that it’s over……. I can picture in my mind the crowds parting to let the little power house through!! Definitely 1/4 or more the strength of the pole dancer!!!!

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